crying and Anchors

8/4/11 Thursday morning, and I guess I am not getting up to blog as consistently as I used to.
I am in a different season and I feel my presents needed more as my girls are all growing up so fast.
I am trying to reflect and be present more than I used to.
I wanted to post about crying and routines.
I am reflecting the nature of crying, specifically with Jewel.  I have found that she has different cries, one for pain and one for stress, one for temper and whining, one for sad and they are all slightly different.  I knew immediately at the Shriners appointment that she was in pain and took her away from the doctor.  In a mater of seconds I was able to find where it was hurting by doing a quick body check, for Jewel did not respond to my questioning of where she was hurting.  You just have to trust your instincts with children who are not too verbal.   I did not understand why she did not verbalize that her leg was hurting, or at least say, "owie" like I have tough her.  You see the AFOs had pinched her calf and  made two blood blister bruises.  After asking the O/T her thoughts on this we both asked Jewel if she knew where the pain was coming from and she said, "no."  The O/T said that it is possible that Jewel lives with pain daily and it is harder for her to isolate the source.  She is getting better at telling me at times but I have to remember that she can not always tell me the origin of where the pain is coming from, so we practice staying calm and responding quickly with visible signs, asking questions and physically checking her body.  I have to console her and remind her to breath and stay calm while I figure out what, where the pain is coming from.  I can not imagine being in so much pain and not being able to tell someone immediately that my leg hurts.  But crying is her way of communicating with us.
Then there is the stress crying, some times is it because we are not picking up on signs that we are placing too much pressure on Jewel, or that she is placing it on herself or that we are not giving her enough time to respond or we are not listening to her.  When she cries due to stress it takes longer to calm her down for we have missed the signs and cues so we have to back track to what we were doing with her before the crying started.  This process takes longer but well worth it getting to the source of the tears and frustration.  We all need to be heard, we need to know that someone cares, that we are loved and worth being listened to.
In a busy day of scheduling and daily tasks it is easy to want to rush from event to home but I have to remember to slow down.  That daily routine brings about more calm and ease for Jewel as far as her needs being met and her knowing what to expect next.  Though having said that it is also enriching to take her out of this routine and bring her to a movie, a play or just go out with her into the world.  This is where anchors come in, anchors will ground us and keep us safe.  We have many types of anchors, some are for our mind, spirit, soul, and body.  Meals and meal times are one of our important anchors,  nap times for some but Jewel has never napped, that is another story.  Healthy snacks and meals are what Jewel needs to anchor her day, and then we can change up the activities and some of the routines.  She also needs her AFOs in the day, at night her swash buckle hip adductor brace and stander / gait trainer and wheel chair time during the day to support proper body alignment and function.  Lots of water during the day is another anchor and if these anchors are in place she is a happy camper.  I am trying to fit in more weight baring on her arms and more academics as far as her reading by her self.  But a good day is built with anchors in place and if the winds blow hard and the waves come crashing the anchors will keep us grounded and in a good space.