Lesson from the Dentist

8/24/11 Wednesday,

We always see the dentist at the pedodontist office at 8am to be the first clients in and avoid germs, this was the objective and has stayed habit.
We were there this morning before the doors were open, it is Jewel's 6 month check up.
The usual, teeth poking, flossing, brushing and fluoride.
We swaddle Jewel in a velcro blanket, this time we used 2 since she has grown so much in length.
I sit on the dentist chair with her, today she her AFOs on and her legs are kept by me in a frog position to help break her tone.  I hold her hands as well and speak to her talking her through the visit.
This morning Jewel kept saying, "scared, scary."
I did not see how tightly wound up I got.
My whole mission is to keep Jewel calm, safe and to explain the visit and for her to know that she is not alone, that her Mommy is there.  We have done this same routine since she was tiny and had brittle breaking teeth that need a lot of painful and expensive dental work, with extraction and many caps to save her teeth.
Today I remind her that Dr. Sato is a father of 2 daughters, the same dentist that always takes care of her.
He flys in from Honolulu twice a week to Maui for years now.
I remind her to breath deeply and think of happy thoughts, reminding her that if she cries she will get all congested and have a hard time breathing.
I focus in on reminding the dentist and hygienist that I have now learnt that Jewel is a mouth breather.
I consistently repeat to Jewel how she needs to nose breath over and over again.
Jewel asks questions, "what doing", and I tell her what the dentist is doing and why, this continues as the  dentist and hygienist affirm how good Jewel is doing, how wide she is opening her mouth and they are positively affirming how helpful she is being.  I am right there helping re-position her head and just being in their faces like I always have.
I have become like the comic strip of the sculpture who is carving a self portrait, but ends up carving the mirror out of the soap stone since the artist is so close to the mirror that she loses her perspective and her focus thus carving the mirror which she was holding and not a bust of herself.
This was me and I did not see it.
After all was done and said, no dentist fingers or tools were bitten and no cavities were found, the visit came to a completion with the exchange of a tooth brush for Jewel.
This is when the dentist reminded me that Jewel is his best patient, and that I am a good mother.  Even though I have just learnt that Jewel is solely a mouth breather and all the risks that come with that, and I am diligently doing all sorts of homework with her to help with her suck, swallow and breath co-ordination I need to remember that Jewel does not do things like the 'book' says to do.  In spite of this  Jewel has always done well, that her survival instincts are strong and have always worked for her during her dentist visits.  I need to trust in Jewel and her body's primitive instincts to protect herself.  She is healthy, happy and growing nicely.  She eats table food and drinks water from a bendy straw.  She is doing well and I  need to see, acknowledge and trust in her ability to handle the dentist visit, it has been working for 10 years and I needed to relax and honor her way.
Just as I was taking her off the dentist chair she got her happy thought and shouted, "Santa" and smiled flashing her dimples and pearly whites.  I guess it does not matter when you get your happy thought as long as they come :)
The lesson I learnt today;"Trust in Jewel, trust in myself and trust in God", this is something my mother in law said to me right after Jewel was born, and good advise just like dreams do not have expiration dates on them.